Like, really really bad. I don't mind Ms. Logan, and I like that she's willing to help us, I just don't understand it at all . I'm pretty pissed that my dad won't let me come to drama club anymore, but hopefully my grades come up. Also, I'm gonna try and get out of Vocal Arts, so then I'll only have 1 after-school thing, which means more sleep. I really won't miss Vocal Arts anyway, I'm not a good singer (or fucking dancer), and I can't sit still for that long anyway.
I'm so overwhelmed with everything.
Life and school and people and everything.
Who's gonna reach out, me or you? I know we both want this.
Why is it so hard?
It shouldn't be.
Would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted minds
I'm feeling a lot better, but If what might happen happens, it'll all come crashing down again. However, that bridge will be crossed when I have arrived at it. I'm really not looking forward to this vacation too much, oddly enough. I'm sure I'll start having fun when I get to Puerto Rico and see all my family.
THAT PICTURE IS SO WACKY, CAUSE I'VE BEEN TO THAT STREET LIKE A MILLION TIMES :D
I want to trust you. I want you to be my best friend. I want to be able to talk to you about real stuff, the stuff we both have inside, but never talk to with anyone. My secret was about you, and it really kind of hurt to see it go up in smoke. I think I'm just afraid to see what'll happen if I try.
I had no idea Allie leaving would affect me so much. These have been the worst few weeks of my life, and that's not a lie. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Actually, the ONE thing that I find any fun in, is, oddly enough, random car rides with Austin. Honestly, I probably would have given up on everything if not for him. I don't know if I'm depressed, or what the fuck.
- I'm dissapointed in you, but you don't care, and that's fine.
-You've become so much more to me than I thought when we met a year ago. I love you.
- It seems like you never cared about me. I think you just need SOMEONE, regardless of who it is. Oh well.
- We need you. We're all lost without you.
- I have so much respect for you, I wish you did too. You're amazing.
- You're annoying.
- You let me down, and I'm never depending on you again.
-Now that I know more about who you REALLY are, I laugh at the difference between how you act when someone's looking and how you act when you think no one's looking.
-You really hurt me sometimes. We joke around, but you take it too far, and then get all defensive.
When she finished playing, a certain sadness enveloped us. We shuffled outside, and continued our goodbyes. Ally remembered she had left her letter to Allie at my house, so our objectives shifted. Austin, Ally, Allie, and I piled into the front seats of Austin's car, making up words to songs along the way. We arrived at my house, got the letter, and headed outside. The four of us stood in the driveway, and then it really hit us; this is the last time we'd see her for who knows how long. We all began to cry, and none of us wanted to leave. Before long, it was nearly midnight and Austin had to drive to Summerfield to take Ally home, then back home to Tavares. I offered for him to spend the night, but it was too complicated. After a few more frantic hugs and wiped tears, they stepped into his car and drove off, saying they loved her until they couldn't be heard. Once they left, we hugged a few more times, and I walked Allie down the driveway to Chelsi's car. We had taken longer than expected with our goodbyes, because Trevor and Chelsi were asleep in the backseat, and James was sitting in the passenger seat, looking at his phone. After waiting for them to wake up and unlock the doors, I told her I loved her a zillion more times, and as she got in the car, I walked back up my driveway. Each step felt like death, and I got halfway up before I completely broke down, and fell onto the concrete and cried for what seemed like hours. I got myself together eventually, and entered my house, completely crushed. The rest of the night is a blur, I slappped together my business project in half an hour, and spent the rest of the night laying in bed, reading her note. After I while, I could see nothing more than the I love you she wrote in the roots of the tree she drew. I fell to a troubled sleep at four, to wake miserably ninety minutes later.
Allie Wagner, I don't know how we're going to get on without you. School isn't worth it. Seeing the spot where you sat in chorus makes me sad all over again. Listening to Emarosa has a whole new meaning now. I can imagine you standing in that corner of the art room, making something amazing. You will always be loved, you will never forgotten.
The things we think about at night never lose taste
We all walked over to the small, dark red room that was dominated by the baby grand piano. It was a scene all too familiar in my head, but this time it was different. It was the last time this would happen, for now. We put Chelsi's camera at the end of the piano and took a few pictures, a few final memories to capture. Allie sat down at the piano bench and began playing. At once, I got a rush of memories from music appreciation class last year, how Geena and I would just sit there all class period, listening to her play, not saying a word. I saw how her fingers danced along the keys, it amazed me as much as the first time I heard her play. Her eyes were closed and her head was slightly tilted. Before long, the emotions hit me and my eyes flooded with tears. The room was silent, save for the music and Austin and Chelsi talking. It was perfect. I remembered the short period we've known each other, a little over a year. I glanced at Trevor. He was sitting at the end of the piano bench, his eyes transfixed on nothing in particular. No doubt, he was using his other senses much more at the moment. I saw him wipe a tear from his eye, and didn't feel so bad for crying. Ally was crying as well, and James sat on the other end of the piano bench, his head in his arms.
I'm super duper angry. We didn't get to sing One Day More. The only reason I went to the damn concert was to sing that. I could have been seeing A Day To Remember, but I stayed to sing that song. I know it's not all Riddle's fault, and he had a lot going on, but it seemed like he didn't organize anything at all. It seemed like he didn't try at all. It upset me. I know if he would just get his shit together, all of our concerts would be so much better. Then again, he has the band to deal with, and he has a family and stuff too. Not a good day.
Extra credit for English is good. Even though I probably won't need it, to be honest. But I would do this anyway. My leg hurts like you wouldn't believe. I'm the only person I know who has this, I get random pains in my arms and legs for no reason and they're horrible. I always thought it happened to everyone but it doesn't! Advil doesn't even help.
Tonight's game was fun, we got annihilated, but whatever. The half-time show was BITCHIN', our band kicks assss. And the flag people were good too! Those pants they had to wear looked like no fun at all, though.
My head is everywhere tonight, it's taking me like an hour to write this because I have so much stuff going on in my head. Oops, I just got a nosebleed Gross. Freaking Paige made me watch Saw III at her house today. I couldn't even get through all of it without freaking out. I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. Which reminds me, I'm really happy with Paige. More than I've been with anyone else, and she won't cheat on me. Lots of people think it's weird that she's bisexual, but I really don't see the big problem.
Which also reminds me, it seems like Seth is the only person I can talk to about serious shit anymore. I mean, I know I have lots of other people to talk to, but Seth is easier to communicate with. I dunno, whatever.
WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME, Chorus is lots of fun. Apparently, me and Rachel are doing a sort of duet thing for One Day More. I'm really scared, because Mr. Riddle thinks I'm better than I really am. Even though my what I've heard of part isn't very difficult. Also, I'm gonna look like a total chump next to Rachel XD. AND, Celeste, Seth, and I are covering Make You Smile by +44 for the coffeehouse. This also makes me hella nervous, because I'm not even sure if I can sing it well. I've only ever heard myself sing it. Eh, It's been a good day. Why complicate it. ALSO EVERYONE BE NICE.
The first week of school was better than i thought, although it was pretty boring. I have lots of friends in almost every class, which is cool! And I have lunch with Kristina, James, Allie, Hannah and Li(y?)ndsey. AND WE GET A BOOOOOOOOTH! Yay.
I like almost all of my classes, which is a first. Kelly's class seems boring but easy, and it goes by quickly. Harris's class seems pretty easy, except for the notes which suuuck. Chorus is fun, EXCEPT FREAKING RIDDLE MADE ME AND AUSTIN TENORS D:< Whatever. Kubik's class is cool, and he showed me Thrice, who I really like now. Chemistry and Algebra 2 suck, but Stephenson reminds me of Mitch Hedberg XD. Who's left? Oh yea, Art is fun, but my sketches suuuuck. Whatever. I really need a ladyfriend. One of those would be nice. I'd like to be a note the kind you could sing but don't Because you're shy That way I'd live inside your throat and hang from every word you spoke. Goodnight.
Sunday was a good day. A very good day. Travis, Robbie, and I were supposed to go see Four Year Strong at the Social, but it turned into a big, bro-tastic adventure!
It went something like this: I had a ticket, but Robbie and Travis didn't. So, we figured we'd try and get tickets at the door for them, seeing as they were only 14 dollars. We figured if it was sold out, we'd go to Guitar Center in Winter Park and just browse shit. Well, that day just HAD to be the day that Travis's mom borrows his GPS from his car. So we printed out directions from Google Maps, and we were on our way at around 3:40. Our first stop was at Burger King, to get our Double Stacker on. After that, we headed to Orlando. After finding the street that the Social is on, we drove around aimlessly, looking for public parking. After we parked at some movie theater, we set about on foot, looking for the venue. After walking around for a while, we found a line of tough-looking dudes outside the building. Taped on the door of the building was a small piece of paper with the words "THE SHOW IS SOLD OUT" on it. To our dismay, Guitar Center was already closed too. Defeated, we walked back to the movie theater where we had parked to try and see a movie. Thanks to the super-cool lady at the box office, we soon held in our sweaty hands tickets to Funny People. After taking a quick bathroom break, we walk into the coolest theater ever. Each of the seats was like a freaking couch, it was sweet. After that, we walk out into the parking lot, searching for a place to pay for our parking. After ten minutes of looking, we decided to hop into the car and leave. No one stopped us, so whatever. Then we remembered that following google directions backwards is harder than it seems. We decided a good first step would be to get onto I-4. That proved more difficult, and scarier than one would think. There was a detour to get onto I-4 because of construction, and that detour took us through the scariest part of Orlando ever. Two white guys and a beaner in a fucking PT Cruiser? I thought we were gonne die for sure XD. Eventually, however, we found ourselves in Leesburg, and really fucking hungry. We stopped at Steak N' Shake and enjoyed some burgers and shakes, then headed to Robbie's house, where we recorded a song on Robbies laptop, which can be heard here. Good night.
Let me apologize to begin with Let me apologize for what I'm about to say. Trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed Somehow I got caught up in between. Let me apologize to begin with Let me apologize for what I'm about to say. Trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed Somehow I got caught up in between. Between my pride and my promise Between my lies, and how the truth gets in the way. The things I want to say to you get lost before they come The only thing that's worse than one is none. I cannot explain to you With anything I say or do or plan. Fear is not afraid of you, Guilt's a language you can understand. I cannot explain to you In anything I say or do or plan But hope my actions speak the words they can. For my pride and my promise. For my lies, and how the truth gets in the way.
That song is amazing, and it's NOTHING like any of Linkin Park's other songs. Me having that song stuck in my head brought this idea into fruition, I'm gonna make a list of my top 16 (lol) favorite songs, in no specific order. Here I go.
In Between- Linkin Park From- Minutes to Midnight
It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door- Underoath From- They're Only Chasing Safety
The Moment- Safetysuit From- Life Left To Go
Reptar, King of The Ozone- The Devil Wears Prada From- Plagues
Jesus Of Suburbia- Green Day From- American Idiot
If He's Here, Who's Runnin' Hell?- Four Year Strong From- Rise or Die Trying
Classifieds- The Academy Is... From- Almost There
American Dream- Silverstein From- A Shipwreck In The Sand
Seven Weeks- Gym Class Heroes From- As Cruel As School Children
Hum Hallelujah- Fall Out Boy From- Infinity On High
Marriage To Millions- Cute is What We Aim For From- Rotation
XO- Fall Out Boy From- From Under The Cork Tree
Heroes Get Remembered, Legends Never Die- Four Year Strong From- Rise or Die Trying
Here's To The Past- A Day To Remember From- For Those Who Have Heart
Timberwolves At New Jersey- Taking Back Sunday From- Tell All Your Friends
Okay, I'm angrier than I have been in a very long time. Before I get into all that negativity, enjoy this sea-pig. It's actually an animal.
How fucking badass is that, man?
Okay, now the negativity.
These people at certain churches (also called Neo-Nazi camps in some areas) seem to have quite a different take on God's intentions and thoughts on the world. Enjoy these pictures.
Cool, right? Especially how lots of the people holding those signs are little kids! :DDDD This fun trend started in Westboro Baptist Church, in I don't fucking know what state. But these people are seriously fucked up. They protest this kind of crap at soldier's funerals. Soldiers that died in battle, who got blown up by a tank or shot by someone, while they sat back here and hated everything and everyone that wasn't them. Firefox is trying to tell me that wasn't is spelled wrong. This is part of the reason that I am not religious at all. Of course, that's not to say that I think everyone who is religious is like this, but GRRR. Dumb fucks like this give NORMAL Christians a bad name, yo. To sum things up, this really pissed me off and it shocks me that people can protest anyone that doesn't believe in "Givin' every fuckin' faggot the ole electric chair, in the name o' de Lord, of course."
SERIOUSLY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY.
Summer, man. This summer is going great so far! Except for Kelsey cheating on me again, that was hella bogus. But whatever, enough about that. I want to get a job man, I need some gwap! Sheri told me Chik-Fil-A hires at 15, so I'm gonna go find out if they're hiring. Totally. Btw, Transformers 2 is a kick-ass movie. That's an intense summer action blockbuster fa 'shawwww, son!
Also, is anyone else going to warped? Tell me, I need someone to hang out with. Last year had so many better bands, though. Whatever, it'll be cool. OH! And if anyone else has Mario Kart or Super Smash Bros. on Wii and plays with Nintendo WFC, gimme your friend code so I can kick your ass. :D
Whoa, haven't posted in a while. I'm so freaking glad it's summer! The only thing is that it goes by so fast. Let's make it last, kay? Summer also means more movies and music which is cool. AND, I'M PRETTY DISSAPOINTED TO KNOW THAT: Sheri Max Skye AND PROBABLY MORE PEOPLE ARE LEAVING OUR SCHOOL. I'm gonna cry. D:
Stop reading here if you don't wanna read something seriously fucked up that will make you want to die.
I saw a picture of a kitten getting curbstomped yesterday and I threw up. No picture has ever made me throw up before. Not even come close. I saw this, and I lasted a minute before I went to Kristina's bathroom and pwned her toilet. I couldn't sleep because of it last night, and when I did, I had all kinds of nightmares. What's worse is it's gonna happen all over again tonight. I don't understand how someone can do that. What has a harmless fucking kitten done to you? I want that motherfucker to know how it feels. Seeing that filled me with so much hate. Some seople are such ignorant, useless wastes of life it apalls me. How can you have such little respect for life? I don't understand it at all. The image hasn't left my head at all since I saw it and I feel sick every time I eat because of it. Angry beaner is angry.
"Who the hell does that shit!?" -Me "Some stupid fucking emo kid." -Scott Pretty much.
OMG. YES YES YES YES! Sorry I haven't blogged in forever. My mom put on this new internet blocker thingy, and it won't let me go on mine or Arry's blogs cause it says they're "Pornographic". D:< HOWEVER!
My birthday is the 28th, as you may or may not know. And I'm getting the best present evar. It's the Underoath Lost In the Sound of Separation SUPER DELUXE BOXED SET THING. It's got a 56-page book of pictures and artwork, the CD and a DVD, 2 vinyl records SIGNED BY THE BAND, and buttons! I'm excited. And my dad seemed happy when I asked him, cause this way he doesn't have to think of what to get me. I love everyone, and I want this fucking month, this school year, to be OOVER. LIKE NAO.
I love Green Day XD. We had to write three haikus for English, and I think mine are pretty good.
The Feud (I actually don't like this one that much) Two fighting houses Montagues and Capulets Draw blood in the streets.
The Capulet's Party Sneaking to a ball A dance, a kiss to her hand True love is unmasked.
I forget the third one, and I'm to lazy to run to my room to read it. Tell me what you thiiink.
Dude, Mrs. Smith's new project sucks balls, and it sucks that she made it due like 3 days before it was originally due. I was doubtful that we were gonna finish to begin with, now I'm positive! Every other class is okay, and I think I did pretty well on my Bio test! YAY.
It's been pretty normal living with my grandmother here, and it's fun cause our family comes over almost every weekend to be with her :D
I read online that if you condensed the history of Earth into one day, you wouldn't get to the dinosaurs until about 10:30 at night, and their period would be a little under ten minutes. The humans would take up the last like, ten seconds. It really made me think of how insignificant I am, in the grand scheme of things. Of course, if I died it would suck (I hope XD), but the universe wouldn't give a shit. Oh well.
I'm still sicker than shit, and I hate missing so much school. After I finish my painful breakfast of cereal and blogging, I'm gonna take my pillz and try to do some Biology work. I really hope I don't have to miss the Variety Show on Saturday.
Seriously, today was complete shit. I've felt totally sick since last night, but I woke up at 6 anyway. I told myself "It's not that bad, you'll make it through school." I stumbled into school this morning, and my only thought was "Fuck." Lol, Melissa. 1st period was okay, and i finished my project for Mrs. Smith. Spanish was hell. It was fucking freezing in there, but as soon as I put my jacket on I felt like I was in like, Arizona in July. So I then removed my jacket, and froze again. I didn't pay attention at all, and tried to study for English. Choir was okay, I just kind of curled up in my chair and slept a few minutes. After that, I got my iPod from Coach T, and I went to the office. I ended up having my aunt come get me, and when I got home at around noon, I slept until 4:30. I still have a crazy fever, and my throat KILLS. I think the strep I had a few weeks ago is coming back, because I didn't take all of my antibiotics. Shit. I probably won't be in school tomorrow, Which is okay because I get to study more for the Shakespeare test. Lame.
This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue And my eyes down the scope, of the barrel of a gun Remind me not to ever act this way again.
Kelsey, I love you. I'm not gonna waste words trying to explain how much, but know that it's lots. Lots. I never thought I would find myself with someone like you. Ever. It seems like so long ago, I would look around and see my friends in these wonderful fucking relationships and I would be jealous. Now, I have you, and I owe you the world for that. You always know what to say. You always make me feel like nothing else matters, as long as we have each other, everything's gonna be fine. When I'm with you, I want that moment to never end. Look at that, I wasted words. Sorry about that.
Today was odd. I thought I was dreaming half the time, seeing things differently. I didn't really like it. I miss my friends. Tuesday was pretty much great. <3 "If I get a boner, it's not my fault." "AUSTIN GOT SMURF CUMSHOT!"
This is turning out to be a baller-ass spring break, and it's not even halfway over! Yesterday, Dakoda came over in the morning, and we geeked out and played Pokemon and Animal Crossing. Then he fell asleeeeep. Kelsey and Ellen came over and woke him up, though. We all hung out and had a blasty blast. Then we had to take Ellen and Kelsey home, which was fun :P
Today, Dakoda went home around noon, and I went to Kelsey's like at 2. Literally all we did was lay in her bed and snuggle. It was wonderful. I love her, a lot. Then her mom got home D= We went to lunch, or dinner, or whatever, at Moe's and I had one of those huge-ass burritoes. Those are good. Then we went to Blockbuster and rented Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist, I loved that movie. Now I'm home, really excited for tomorrow.
SPRINK BERAK YAY. So, I haven't done anything yet, and I don't have anything planned. OTL. Except, spend as much time with Kelsey and my fraaands. Oh, and Tuesday! I'me excited for Tuesday fa shaw. My dad is being a cunt for sure, though. My sister and I said we didn't wanna go to an art show in Mt. Dora tomorrow, and he flipped a bitch and now we're not going. I don't get why he can't just go with my mom and have a wonderful time without us, seriously.
Dudes, I need your help. Well, I need your help to help someone else. This band I really like called The In Crowd got their Myspace page hacked, and that fool got rid of EVERYTHING on their profile, and they need help getting their shit back together. They're really cool people, and their singer is totally hot, so if you could add them, that'd be great. AND, they comment you back when you talk to them! It's badass.
Today was a good day. School was good, but we were late D: The one freaking day we leave early, my sister forgets her shit and we have to turn back. Lame. YAY FOAR ALLY! Dude, didn't you have bronchitis like 2 weeks ago, too? Fuck. I failed the shit out of the Bio test, but whatever. I think our Poetry Alive thing is coming along pretty well, which I'm excited about. BTW, I need to do my journal thing.
After school, I went to Kelsey's and we were lazy and ate fucking pot stickers and watched Beaner TV, then Sweeney Todd! Then we went to the square with Robo-Marshall and SAW KATIE'S CUTE FUCKING DOG! Yay. Tomorrow, we're going to the mall and then to the My Shadow's Reflection concert. You guys should go, it's at 6:30 at the King's Theater in Wildwooooood. NO HOMO, DUDE.
So, my grades are okay. I had a 79 in Biology which I know was my own fault, I've been slacking off. I did have a lot of shit going on, though. I had a B in Geometry and the rest were A's, which I'm pretty happy about.
Mrs. Baumann gave me all the leftover pea seeds from the lab, and I planted 3 today. I couldn't find any soil, so I borrowed some from another plant xD. I put them in a little empty plastic pot I found outside, on my windowsill. I put the pot in a little Tupperware thingy so the water wouldn't spill everywhere when I watered it, though. The dirt I used was pretty old, so idk if it'll even grow. I hope so. I love the idea of watching shit grow, though.
This sucks dick. So, it turns out I can't go to the best concert in the world. Oh well, I'll give Austin money to buy me a shirt. I'm doing a terrible job of memorizing my speech. I don't recall it ever being this hard when I did it in 4th-6th, but whatever. Ballsack. D:
Keep it up, your tact is astounding. Find your place, and leave us with some peace of mind. You do this every time.
This has been one of the best days ever. Ana, Kaylee and me are doing an excerpt from As You Like It by Shakespeare for the Poetry Alive thingy, I THINK. I think it'll be cool if we do. AND AND AND My mommy told me i could go see The Devil Wears Prada, A Day To Remember, Emarosa and Sky Eats Airplane next week if I keep my grades up! I so will for this.
OMG EW. Okay, this is for all the blooger dudes.
DID YOU FUCKING KNOW GIRLS POOPED?! That's so gross.
My day was ruined today by something someone said. I doubt they meant anything by it, but it ruined my day. I couldn't get it out of my head. It was BULLSHIT, DAWG! Everyone doesn't love you as much as you think, homes. You say things that hurt people without knowing it. I don't know if you actually see yourself the way you make it seem, but I sure hope not. I need chapstick.
This weekend was Mad Decent, as Dakoda would say. I did nothing on Friday except stay up really late. This led to me sleeping in until almost 1 on Saturday. Most of Saturday was spent washing my dad's car, which was lame. That night I went to the square with Jenna, CHRISOMFG, Kelsey, and Robo-Marshall. That was a blasty-blast. Today, I did nothing. At all. I went to Wildwood to pick my sister up from some shit she was doing, then we went to Target and I bought Punk Goes Pop 2, it's great. Then we had sushi at VKI, and now I'm here. I'm about to go watch the Comedy Central Roast of Larry the Douchebag. He's had it coming.
I wish I had more time to devote to music. I wanna listen to more Alesana & Taking Back Sunday. Freakin' A.
I wish I had a friendship like yours. You guys are like two fucking pieces of a puzzle, and I'm crazy jealous. Even when you argue, which is hardly ever, it doesn't matter. You know you love each other and nothing will come between it. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. However, I don't have anything like what you two have. I'm doing a horrible job of wording this. Whatever. I'm not feeling great today. I haven't been for a while. I'm kinda scared.
I'm really excited for Punk Goes Pop 2! It's Sunday night, midnight. I can't sleep. My parents aren't home. I haven't started my speech, or my lab, which is due tomorrow. I don't know if the choir kids that missed Bio on Friday get more time to do it, but I hope so. I've had a decent weekend. MPAs on Friday were fun, and I got to know Noelle a lot better, and I'm really happy about that :D. We have a lot more in common than I thought, actually. Saturday I went to Dakoda's, and I drew a Paras! You know, the little crab Pokemon with mushrooms on his back? It was the most detailed one I've drawn, and I didn't trace anything for the eyes, so it's kinda shitty. Whatever. I also painted a Gulpin, which I think turned out pretty well. It was my first time painting, and it was fun. I'm gonna bring them in tomorrow to show Smrekar (or something) in Art Club.
Everything is back to how it used to be. I'm fucking up in school again, My dad is yelling at me about everything again, and I'm alone again. And I can't help but feel that it was my fault. I refuse to belive that she's a bad person. She was so fucking perfect. She was everything I could ask for, and way more than I deserved.
I had a pretty shitty day today. I'm still sicker than shit, PE was horrible, and I did nothing in Biology. I haven't started my speech, and I don't think I will until like, Wednedsay night. All day I was looking forward to Art Club, and I got that snatched away too. I'm so angry because of that. That's the only good part of my day, besides lunch. Also, can you guys leave suggestions for more Pokemon for me to draw? I wanna fill up the whole page. But no crazy ones please, you have to keep my lack of talent in mind.
At least I won't have to deal with my parents until Tuesday. Katy Perry's really hot.
Will you be the first one to tell the neighborhood papers, and all my family & friends that still care? Did you buy what I sold you? Did you hear what I told you? I hope that you still do, will you?
FUCK ME, JESUS FUCKING LORD EVERYTHING SUUUUCKS. Lol. I feel like extra-poopy poop. I got home, slept, woke up, watched TV, slept, and not I'm here. My nose is as stuffed as a certain someone's vagina a few weeks ago. Haha. I laughed at that. It was kinda mean, but that's just okay. I also might just have a fever, but I'm too lazy to grab the thermometer.
This has been the shittiest week ever, homes! PE was okay today, and I'm getting calluses from power-cleaning, which is kinda cool. The Geometry test is HELL. I've answered 7 questions out of 17. If I get all those totally right, I'll get roughly a 41%. My dad is expecting a 100%.
The key to being a guy high school is to be that other guy, the one who's not you. No matter who you are, you suck. -Khari Ollivierre I miss that kid. What sickens me about myself is that even through all this shit, I still love you. Eh, I'll get over it. No one needs crazy bitches like you. You're gonna run yourself into the ground one day. You're gonne fuck everyone around you over, and you'll have no one. If not, more power to you. BITCHSLUTWHORE. *eats pie* Whatever. And after everything you put me through, I should have fucking pissed on you. I love BMTH.
Jesus, today sucked dicks. I was doing all right, until PE when Coach flipped out on me because I couldn't go all the way down on squatting. When I tried to tell him that I hurt my tailbone and it KILLS to go down, he told me that I was a weakling, and that I need to quit whining. We can't all be Cody Holton, fuckface.
I got some news during this period that sort of surprised me, but when I thought about it, I realized it really wasn't that shocking. BTW: If you don't want people to treat you like you're four, don't act like it. I also realized that Ally's right, Daniel's hugs are great. After that, I crashed and burned, along with the rest of the class, on the Geometry test. There goes my 96 in the class.
I got a little reprieve from all that shit during Art Club. I know I suck at art, but I tried, and I really like how relaxed everything is. I definitely wanna take art next year. I wonder if, since this is my last year of spanish, I can double up on electives and take Choir and art?
I've made a mistake. Reading my book today, I realized that I can't lose her. I can't.
On another note, I sort of changed how my blog looks. I think it's cool :D Gage Young is such an amazing photographer, it makes me jealous. Why can't I have skills? AND he frigging gets to meet all these awesome bands, and they PAY him to take pictures of them. Or maybe not. Shit, I would totally do it for free. My sister used to go to school with him, dude. Whatever.
I'm doing pretty good in school, I feel good about it. I had no idea I got a 90 on that Geometry quiz, I totally thought I failed it. Plus, I have a 96! It probably won't stay like that for a long time, though. Whatever.
Playing music with the volume turned up all the way makes it seem like the only things that exist are me and the noise. I like it that way.
You know the feeling when you take the milk out of the fridge for cereal, and it expires in a day, so you smell it and it smells fine, so you pour your bowl. As soon as you take the first bite, you taste the nastiness and you almost puke and you run to the bathroom and use mouthwash 47 times, and as you're rinsing, you realize you sort of did smell something, but you wanted the cereal really bad so you ignored it? Looking at you is like that. Not really, but it's not fun.
I was on autopilot from 1st period until lunch. Literally. I have no idea where my mind was, but it sure as shit wasn't at school with the rest of me. You could ask me anything about today and I would have no answers for you. Lucas and Joe cheered me up at lunch, but it got worse as soon as i left the cafeteria. It was all the same from there, until I found a little help in the form of Hudson in Geometry, where we laughed at the word cunt.
I'm back to square one. I'm alone. Thank you Austin, for being the only reason I didn't go into the bathroom and stay in there all day long. It was too good to be true, anyway.
I hate how the beginning of every Zelda game is slow and confusing, and it takes forever to get the fucking sword and bombs. I hope it gets better fast, otherwise I will totally lose interest in what I hope is a bitching game. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow, wich sucks because i hate the feeling of my teeth getting scraped, plus the smell and feel of rubber gloves, while I try to tune out the stupid nasally whine of the nurse saying how I need to improve my brushing habits. Ew. That was sort of a run-on sentence.
Besides my ever-present dental condition, everything is doing pretty good. The weather is amazing, and everyone seems to be in a good mood. I even decided to take my dog on a walk for once, and he even pooped outside, instead of the living room. This may not seem so great to you guys, but to me, it was amazing. Ontop of all that crazy shit, I found my first beard hair today. I'm totally on my way to a Scott-tastic beard.
School is getting better, or maybe I just started caring more. Probably more of the latter, to be honest. I'm sleeping a lot less in Geometry, and I'm actually understanding the lessons, which is pretty baller. Today, in Geometry, I found a really cool checkmark-shaped scab on my leg, which I picked in the hopes of having a cool checkmark-shaped scar in the midst of allmy beaner-leg hair. That would be sweet. I like scars, they kind of tell a story, like Ally said. Of course, mine are all from stupid shit like riding a motor scooter barefoot and crashing into a rock.
Would you you let me fly if I wanted to try? Looking out the window is getting old, In my heart, stories are never told. If all the world's a stage, I'll just turn the page Pull the curtain on this place, I won't leave a trace of this town alive.
I want velcro shoes, it would be so easy to put them on.
School is not a great place. I got decent grades, even with how little I studied. This dissapoints me because I know that if I really put in effort and tried, I could have amazing grades. I could be at the top of my class, or at least right below Keeler, Grace, and Mona. Instead, I look at my 4 B's and 3 A's and think, "well, that's okay."
On another note, I couldn't be happier with Kelsey. I never thought in a billion gamillion years that I would have someone like her, and I can honestly say that I love her.
Oh, and apparently I've "abandoned" my old friends from last year, but I really don't think it's all my fault. As far as I can see it, they're not trying very hard to keep in touch either. To be honest, it doesn't bother me as much as it probably should. I'm happy with the people I hang out with, and I care about them and vice versa. So long.
Oh, you love to punish me. I get the feeling You're having fun with me.
I want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid someone else will hear me.
I don't know who this is about, or why I wrote it. You can decide.
They say "wake up, you're alive" Why won't you even try? It was nothing, nothing but a lie. I see nothing in your eyes that doesn't scare me. I see us as friends, so don't pretend no one cares. You want to go home. You're not alone.