Goals for Today-

Wake up early, so I can go to Target, Circuit City, etc, with my mom and buy new headphones, and look for Rock Band 2 on the Wii, because my mom suddenly really wants it. I want to do this all relatively fast, so that I can go to the square with Kelsey and Ally later on. Sounds easy enough to accomplish, especially since I'm already up at 8:20. Somehow I doubt it will be that easy.

Just give me myself back.

You are a difficult person to please. Nothing I do is ever good enough, you wants more. If you don't get what you want, I'm a lazy asshole. Yelling, pleading, and insulting aren't encouraging either, by the way. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm around you. If I say the wrong thing, you freak out, if I don't say anything, I'm trying to alienate you. What the fuck do you want?
I feel utterly worthless around you. I'll never be them, and I will NEVER be you. I'm gonna be what I want to be, whether it makes you happy or not. You will not think for me any more. You don't understand why I don't like being around you, but just look at yourself. You LOVE to argue, and you love to play the victim in every situation. Every second around you makes me want to punch a wall until my hands bleed, or break down and cry. I will be better than you. You will not hold me back.

All things come to an end.

The death of my aunt showed me that. She was an amazing person. Throughout her countless physical struggles, she still managed to have faith in whoever's up there, and she prayed not for herself, but for everyone around her.
For the man that got her daughter pregnant.
For my grandmother, who is slowly succumbing to the final stages of Alzheimer's.
For the ICU doctor who was an asshole.
For her own daughter, who came home drunk constantly and she had to stay up most of the night with.

She taught me that no matter what your circumstances are, no matter how fucked up everything can get, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if that light means death. She had unshakeable faith, and although I don't completely agree with what she thought, I respect her in the utmost because of it. She was always happy, and she's happy now.

I love my family, and not seeing them in a year made a bigger impact than I thought.

Austin is right. Maybe not for everyone, but I also hate being alone. Seeing happy couples doing whatever happy couples do makes me think, why can't I ever seem to find myself in one of those? I'll find someone eventually, but until then, its as if there's something mising in me, something that has never been there, but I miss it al the same.

Sidenote-ms. smith pulling all these projects out of her ass is really annoying.

Love you all.

Hallowiener!

Was fun.
Trick-or-treated with Kristina, Melissa, James, Celeste & Jimena. I looked sexy. Got a bloody nose, big whoop. Then we went to Kristinas house, where James made it more evident that I have no skills. I didn't get any good candy, which sucked.
Saturday sucked ass, sat around and did nothing all day. Today Carolina and I went to blockbuster and rented Iron Man and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I love those movies, yo.

Dude, my sister is a total fangirl and it annoys the hell out of me. To each his own, I suppose.
I'm horribly dreading school tomorrow, because of:

1) Biology lab is due, and I know I did it all wrong.
2) Research paper is due on fucking Wednesday, and I'm not even halfway done. I hate Mrs Smith.
3) I got another fucking detention, it being the fourth one. Wow.
Oh well.
Seriiously, the only good parts of school are 2nd period Music Appreciation, lunch, and hearing the last bell ring. Should it be like that? Probably not.

AND, I HATE MY FUCKING FRO.

Love, Hooly.

And the stars, they point to this.

Everything I do is wrong.
To my friends, to my dad, to my teachers. I feel like I'm never good enough, and I never will be. I HATEHATEHATE Mrs. Hubbard's stupid assignments, if you want your students to pass, they should make flashcards on their own. ARG at Mosby. Those stupid abstinence bitches are throwing STDs around like they're free candy. PUN.

And now, the ever-so-popular anonymous comments. You should probably stop reading now.

You need to chill the fuck out. It wasn't a big deal, and it makes you seem like a big bad word when you do things like that.

You confuse me, but are generally very nice and I like you.

You smell fantastic XD and you're also very nice. You're always in a good mood, and it's cool.

You also confuse me, but in an amazing way and hanging out with you is fantastic.

I love you to death, and I look up to you, believe it or not. Being with you makes everything better, and I'm glad I get to see you a lot.

You manipulate everyone around you and it's hideous.

You try WAY too fucking hard, girls don't like you. You have stupid haircuts, too.

Give me like a quarter of your skills, dude. I NEED SKILLS.

You. What must I do to make you happy? I can't be what they were, and I won't be. I'm never going to live the live you want for me. I know you love me, but you're unpleasant and I hate being around you. You wonder why I don't talk to you or tell you things, but you blow everything way out or proportion and it's dumb.

I fucking hate you. You hurt my friend so much, and she's still buying the bullshit you spoon-feed her. It sickens me, but she won't listen to anyone. You should feel horrible and I hope you realize that what you do is wrong.

You, are Asian. You are half-Asian. You are also half-Asian, and you used to look like the Avatar.

Remember me?

Hey!
Dude, I haven't posted in like four years, sorry. Homecoming was amazing, I got to meet Charles, and see Scott again! I probably didn't leave a fantastic impression by being like 45 minutes late, but whatever. I was kind of upset that I missed The Academy Is... the 3rd but whatever, I had fun Friday.
I'm realizing just how ignorant some people are, and it disgusts me. People I've known for a while have been questioning me because of my "new friends", and I've been asked if I'm gay. What if I was gay? I'm not, but would they give up our friendship if I was? Fucking shit.
Enough of that shit, though. I'm completely confused in Biology, and that stresses me because it seems like no one else is. I'm wasting my time in Spanish II, Music Appreciation pwns.
Computers is ridiculous. We're assigned a project that no one understands, and she REFUSES to explain it. Health is useless, Mrs. Mosby is a shriveled old cunt that doesn't believe in hoods. English is refreshingly challenging, and Geometry is nap-tastic. Not as nap-tastic anymore since Jake cut his hair, though. PUN.

I HATEHATEHATE being in the middle of so much bullshit between my friends, but there's nothing I can do about it. I never get enough sleep, and I'm still a dumb lazy moron who's not good at anything. Very encourgaing, my dearest father.
:D

VMAs

Terrible this year, I was dissapointed. Russel Brands is hilarious, I love that guy. Thanks to him for ripping on the Jonas Brothers all night, they needed it. Jordin Sparks, suck my adolescent balls. If you wanna wait to have sex, great. Everyone who does't Isn't wrong, they're just horny. It's like having a delicious lunch in front of you, but not eating it.
Not really though, horrible comparison. I have spanish homework, goodbye.

I'm gonna miss you, summer.

This summer has been basically the greatest time of my life. Thank you to everyone who made it so amazing. i.e all my friends who make my life the roller-coaster that it is, i love you all. High school starts tomorrow, and I'm f%$king terrified. But life goes on, and I'll survive. But my lesbian haircut isn't gonna help.
AND
I'm gonna miss running into Scottie at Target =[

this magical place called...

The square.
Really not too magical.
But, it depends on who's there with you. Today, for instance, I was lucky enough to be joined by Kate! She's leaving for Ohio tomorrow, so I wanted to see her before she left. I got there around 3, met her at her mother's bookstore, and we were off into the blistering heat.
The heat was fails. All my shorts were dirty from Chicago, so i had to wear jeans. Not cool. We spent an hour at starbucks, messing around on our Zunes, then we returned to the bookstore to check in. Afterward, we walked to Target and got icees! I bought some superfly shades, and I saw a hot vest. Then I ran into my good friend Scott, who preoceded to scare the crap out of Kate by telling me that I was attractive. He was not incorrect.
After all those shenanigans, we went back behind the bookstore and sat in the grass under some trees. After failing to call my mother to pick me up on my stupd phone, I used the phone in the store to call her. Kates mother was nice enough to drive me to the movie theater, where my mom picked me up.
I'm gonna miss Kate, dude.

Chicago

Last week, my family and I went to Chicago for some doctor meeting thing my mom had to go to.
The following is my sloppy recollection of that trip.

Things I Wanted To Do In Chigago:
1) ride a Segway. (did it.)
2) visit the Clandestine Industries factory store
3) go to Six Flags
4) see the Dark Knight in IMAX
5) go to Urban Outfitters
6) buy Andy Warhol poster
7) see Nine Inch Nails at Lollapalooza

One out of seven.
Way to go, mom.

My trip consisted of countless HORRIBLY dull museums, embarrasing tours, and wishing i could go to Lollapalooza.
On the third night, however, we took the train (crazy) to another town for a concert of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra playing the music of John Williams.
(he wrote the music for the harry potter movies, the indiana jones moves, E.T, sta wars, and probably more) That was prertty fun.

Basically the highlight of my trip was when we rented Segways.
Segways are these crazy, 2-wheeled scooters that you move by shifting your weight to your toes to go forward, and your heels to stop.
We rode them through the town and got laughed at by locals, but I didn't care because it was crazy fun. At a whopping speed of 12.5 miles an hour, these babies are nothing to mess with.